To love you but not to understand you?

A female friend of mine once told me that when comes to relationship management, guys should not attempt to understand their female partner but to love them whole hearted will do. Well I must admit that I am not a person that always gave fast respond answers as at that moment, any feedback from me might trigger any offensive response (please refer to another article of mine by the title of pride management). Thus at that moment, all I can do is to nod my head silently and reply with a smile. I’ve been doing some thinking lately and the below written should be my best feedback to the related issue.

I know there are plenty of authors had mentioned that how males and females reacted when comes to handling relationship, in any language and culture, males and females are always classified as two different species. Well, not biologically but mentally. I am not thoroughly agree with most of the so called research conducted between men and women but at times we have to just blame it on the culture.

Before I sway further away, let’s get back to the topic: Understanding a female. That is not something new I guess, but it is really impossible for guys to figure a girl out when comes to relationship? (Ok, found guilty of narrowing down the topic but I really need to or else this article will become a freaking thesis about women). In the past I had plenty of friends came to me for some advice on this matter, sounds weird but don’t ask why they approached me, I have no idea as well. The solution will always be the same – Profiling. It is the best way for guys to understand girls if that particular guy really care about their female partner.

A person who knows me well knew that I profile nearly everyone. That is the best way to enter anyone’s life. Well, everyone actually does it, the only difference is between whether you do it consciously or unconsciously (please refer to article: profiling). So is female not to be understood? My answer is a sweet NO. Guys if you are reading this and felt relief, seriously refer to some profiling method I reckon in another article. Wait, I have to put this in capital wordings: FEMALE ARE MEANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD AFTERALL, YAY. (If you are wondering whether had I lost my mind, don’t worry, I had not!)

Bear with me for a while, let’s make things simple by breaking down. Can you even love someone without basic understanding? Let’s test all your senses and hope there’s not a case of malfunction. For a man, it always starts with sight. Once your brain registers an image of her, it will automatically ping you that whether this girl is your “type”. Once approved (within seconds), a dude will start to calculate a million possibilities about the girl (stereotyping is not healthy for you). On first level, that my friend is not an understanding yet as you had not find out the truth about her.

So you walk across and introduce your-self or you asked around, now that is trying to understand (basic profiling) and you are likely to get a set of answers (till you get those answers only you are certified with basic understanding). After using your bunny ears, the most common thing that you will do is to exchange information, typical man huh. From there, it tells us one thing which is even before starting a relationship, the upmost common understanding between both parties must be there to spark a fire (well let’s not talk about the case of she is not that in to you). Where had it gone wrong after being together?

To be very honest, love it or hate it, it is always the case of either the male stop trying or the female start asking for more (or both at the same time). In this situation, the question is no longer “do you understand me?” but “are you tired of me?” or “had you lost interest in me?” etc. A lot of girls always complaint that their partners do not understand them, in some case yes, but most of the time, that is a big NO. It’s nearly impossible for anyone to love someone or something without further understanding unless he or she is gifted in a way or blinded in another way.

Look at your shopping patterns, okay, look at the things you bought that costs you at least half of your earnings and above, from something as simple as your smart phone to a car (or even an apartment). Had you not consider the specs or criteria before throwing out the cash? It proves that we have to understand before we fell deeper for it. Let’s not compare with items, it can be very offensive to some. But come to think of it, you girls dare to absorb a guy that merely understands you as your life partner? I don’t think so. Conclusion: when guys said that they “don’t understand”, it is most likely they don’t want to further understand due to any reason (the cause can be from either party).

So when a girl ask a guy not to understand her, to me is a joke, are you asking me not to further develop interest on you or are you trying to hide something from me? From my personal opinion, to love means to understand. You can’t tell me who and what to love. If I don’t like Chihuahua (I really don’t like them) means I don’t like Chihuahua, why? Because I don’t understand how to shut them up and why are they always so loud. On the other hand, if I said I like to play tennis (I do play tennis), that means I like it as I understand how the game works. I can’t be saying that I like it when I don’t even know how to hold my racket right?

So why does female said such a sentence? To me, very simple, you are asking for one or more of the below stated:

1. Seeking for attention (more time together)
2. Pride protection (no discussion no argument)
3. Money spent on you instead of another person (including the guy’s mother)
4. Etc. (go figure!!!)

To all the girls that are reading this, never ever said that to a guy (well, at least to me) you are merely asking for trouble or a fight. It is equivalent as asking me to think without my brains. Do not attempt to use this for the above stated. It will only make your male partners lose their hair due to over scratching. Guys, never say that girls are not meant to be understood. Same theory applies.

(I have a few related articles coming up to support my theory, if you like to view them, do let me know, I will post it up)